When spring finally kind of appeared I was so excited to start running outside-- so that first day I decided I would just run as far as I could without stopping to see how far I could go.
For a little more context I have never run for more than 2 miles without stopping-- last May I did 2 miles in just over 21 minutes & that was my best ever fun and the furthest I've run!
I was able to do a mile without stopping-- and then did another mile mainly walking with a little bit of jogging in-between. I felt pretty good about it, considering it was my first running attempt since October. My optimism faded pretty quickly as the runs that followed that first day seemed to get worse and worse. There were tears and mini meltdowns and a million times I thought I should transfer my 5k registration to someone else because there was no way I would be able to run 3 miles.
What if I'm the last person to finish?
What if I don't even finish?
What if I'm too slow & have to leave the course?
The more I thought about it, the more I started to think so what? Maybe I will be the last person to finish, or unable to finish at all, but if I don't try I won't ever get better. Why are we so quick to let the fear of failure rule over us? Failure is disappointing and difficult and heartbreaking at times- but it doesn't define who we are. Life will still go on the next day.
So here I am a little less than a month away from the race. I'm still struggling, but still trying. My pipe dream is to run the entire thing without stopping. Actually my pipe dream is to run the entire thing super fast-- I'll be happy if I can run the entire thing without stopping.
Maybe this whole thing is about running a 5k. Or maybe it's just about life in general-- and not letting fear hold you back from everything you want to accomplish.
for training for tuesday